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<\/p>\nWhen Jeremy and his wife, Nina, get home from a vacation, they are horrified to find Ted, Jeremy\u2019s slob of a brother, in their home. After a confrontation which leads to angry parents and Nina moving out, Jeremy forces Ted\u2019s hand, making him move out\u2026<\/p>\n
When I came home from vacation, I was expecting to relax, maybe pop open a bottle of wine with my wife, and enjoy the peace of our home. Instead, we walked into a living room that looked like a complete frat house after a party from Hell.<\/p>\n
There were beer cans everywhere, dirty clothes tossed in random piles, and the smell, my goodness, the smell. And there, sprawled out on my couch like he owned the place, was my older brother, Theodore, or Ted, as everyone called him.<\/p>\n
\u201cTed, what the hell? What is this? Why are you in my house?\u201d I asked, trying to stay calm, though my blood pressure was rising by the second.<\/p>\n
Nina, my wife, looked around our living room and rolled her eyes. In that moment, I knew that I had to fix it or I\u2019d have to deal with a very upset wife.<\/p>\n
My brother looked up, casually, like I hadn\u2019t just caught him red-handed.<\/p>\n
\u201cOh, hey, Jeremy,\u201d he said. \u201cMom and Dad figured that it would be easier if I just moved in while you were gone. You\u2019ve got all this space, and it\u2019s not like you\u2019re using it, you know? You and Nina are either working or on vacation.\u201d<\/p>\n
I blinked, trying to process the audacity of his words.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou moved in? You moved into my house? Without asking? Ted, are you insane?\u201d<\/p>\n
He rolled his eyes, lifting his feet onto the couch and crossing them like he was about to watch a movie.<\/p>\n
\u201cYeah, so what?\u201d he said. \u201cI needed a place to stay, and it\u2019s not like you\u2019d say yes. So, we decided to skip that part. Quit being so uptight, Jeremy. Just help a brother out.\u201d<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
It was like a switch flipped inside me, the years of watching him leech off my parents, his life one big excuse after another, and somehow, he was the victim here.<\/p>\n
Now, he\u2019d taken over my house. Really?<\/p>\n
Just as I opened my mouth to speak, my phone rang. Mom. Of course.<\/p>\n
I answered, trying to keep my voice as calm as possible.<\/p>\n
\u201cMom, did you and Dad seriously let Theodore move into my house while I was away?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhy are you using my full name?\u201d Ted chimed in from the background.<\/p>\n
I ignored him.<\/p>\n
\u201cJeremy, don\u2019t be so dramatic,\u201d my mother said, not even a hint of apology in her voice. \u201cTed needed a place to stay, and you\u2019ve got all that room. You don\u2019t even have kids yet. So what\u2019s the harm in helping out your brother?\u201d<\/p>\n
I closed my eyes, taking a deep breath.<\/p>\n
\u201cMom, he is 42 years old. He isn\u2019t a kid. You\u2019ve let him mooch off you for years, and you want to dump him on me? Are you being serious? Why do you want to treat him like he\u2019s a kid just out of college?\u201d<\/p>\n
My mother\u2019s tone shifted, and she immediately went on the defense.<\/p>\n
\u201cOh, mooching, huh?\u201d she said. \u201cI\u2019m disappointed in you, Jeremy. He\u2019s been through a lot. You don\u2019t understand what it\u2019s like to be him. You\u2019ve always had everything together. Ted needs a little more help. And as family, you owe it to him.\u201d<\/p>\n
Been through a lot? My brother had two children under the age of five, with two different women. And he didn\u2019t bother to support either of them. How was I supposed to feel sorry for this man?<\/p>\n
Before I could respond, my father took the phone, his voice taking over my ear, sounding even more irritated.<\/p>\n
\u201cJeremy, stop being selfish. You\u2019ve got the money, the house, the wife. What\u2019s the big deal? It\u2019s your job to take care of your family. Ted is your brother. He is staying.\u201d<\/p>\n
I almost lost my mind. I almost let my anger take over me. But then I remembered that it just wasn\u2019t my style. Ted might\u2019ve thought that he had won this time, but I had a plan.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"